ActionCOACH Tulsa

Who’s Your Biggest Critic? | ActionCOACH

This month, we are sharing another blog post from Eric Knam with ActionCOACH Tulsa. Eric is a certified business coach providing business help, advice, and mentoring services to small and medium-sized businesses. We’ve watched many of our business colleagues move from working IN their business to working ON their business, enjoying the perks of being the boss as a result of partnering with Eric.

Keep reading to learn more about who is your biggest critic!

Who is Your Biggest Critic? | Action COACH

There’s a classic Saturday Night Live skit called Daily Affirmation. It stars Al Frankin as Stuart Smalley, a man who is trying to better himself through positive self-talk. In each skit, Stuart gazes at himself in the mirror and tells his reflection “I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone, people like me.
The skits were humorous, sometimes even hilarious. What many of us don’t realize is that Stuart was onto something. What we say to ourselves, about ourselves when we are by ourselves has a significant impact on who we are and how we behave.
Don’t just take my word for it, let’s look at a couple of examples from Stuart himself: I don’t know what I’m doing. They’re gonna cancel the show. I’m gonna die homeless and penniless and twenty pounds overweight and no one will ever love me.” – Stewart Smalley
I deserve good things. I am entitled to my share of happiness. I refuse to beat myself up. I am an attractive person. I am fun to be with.” – Stewart Smalley
There’s a huge difference in the messages Stewart is sending himself in the examples above. That little voice in our heads can be our worst enemy, or we can train it to become our greatest asset. You see, negative self-talk is a destructive force that tears us down from within and keeps us from achieving our potential.

The Benefits of Positive Self-Talk

Positive self-talk, on the other hand, can have a huge impact on our self-confidence and how we react in different situations. In her article “6 Ways To Practice Positive Self-Talk Without Feeling Like You’re Straight-Up Lying to Yourself” on wellandgood.com, Jessica Estrada outlines several of the benefits that are associated with positive self-talk.
  1. New perspective during difficult or times of crisis
  2. Improved relationships
  3. Increased confidence
  4. Reduction of loneliness

 

Changing what you say to yourself, about yourself when you are by yourself isn’t easy and it takes some work. Let’s face it, you’re dealing with years of listening to the same “recording” playing over and over in your head. Changing the “soundtrack” is going to take some time.

To help with the transition, Estrada recommends the following:

  1. Make sure your self-talk is authentic and true
  2. Change your behavior
  3. Start in one area with positive self-talk
  4. Collect data not judgment
  5. Question your thoughts
  6. Work with a professional

 

To some, this may sound like a bunch of psychobabble gobbledygook. As someone who has dealt with the challenge of negative self-talk, I can assure you it’s not. For the last year and a half, I’ve been working with a thought coach and it has been a game-changer!

My self-confidence has improved. I am now more in touch with the negative thoughts that keep me from becoming the person I want to be. When I hear that old, worn-out record starting to play in my head, I take the time to ask myself if “how I’m thinking, feeling, or acting” supports me becoming the person I desire to be?

If it doesn’t, I have a choice. I can continue to listen, to sing along, or I can change the station.